Being an Involved parent is to protect kids but ‘Over Indulging involvement’ being paranoid to allow children to let them attempt to be on their own, is dangerous. Fear grips fear and suspicion leads to guilt. All sorts of negativity surfaces in children when too much of indulgence adds up to their lives as they turn to Speaking lies, rebelling, getting destructive, out bursting and turn to a nasty brat sort of attitude. Involving, on the other hand is hands-on-parenting being fair, consistent and allowing freedom with guidance and nurturing the genius in a child.
According to Dr. Betty Lou Bettner, psychologist, family
therapist and co-author of several parenting books. "Pampering is an epidemic. She
estimates that pampering or indulging goes on in more than 60 percent of
households with children. It starts early and perpetuates itself.- Read more
“Hands-on” versus “hands-off” parenting
Create a Genius in your Child
It is important to instill a sense of Independence in children. Help them to be responsible. Resist to carry their school bags, do their homework for them, organize their room, carry their plates or feed them always what they want or get things when they ask without a ‘NO’ - pampering in limitless way. Over Indulgence and Over Attention are two things to keep a vigil check on, as a parent. Too much of over indulgence ends up to a disobedient, rigid or a self centered child whereas too much of over attentiveness causes a child to be unsure, insecure, indecisive, totally lacking in confidence.
This makes me mention on a study conducted by the Columbia University-based National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse looked specifically at the effect of “hands-on” versus “hands-off” parenting on tween and teen behavior. Not surprisingly, the study found that kids who live in highly structured households (hands-on parenting) were at significantly lower risk for substance abuse and other risk-taking behaviors than were children who lived in less structured homes (hands-off parenting). The behaviors examined included smoking cigarettes, substance use and abuse, and other risk-taking behaviors by the children as well as by their friends.
It is here where parents need to build own confidence, know their own fears and anxiety and as teachers, need to know the strength and capacity of the child before expecting a lot from him. Hovering over a child is indeed making him less confident and even getting introvert. Nobody likes to be watched to told to do ‘this and that’ – Disciplining has its own way.
So, what to do? How do you help your child to be Independent and responsible? I tried my way and laid down the rules with hands on parenting and even while teaching children. Hands on parenting, a follow through consistently and participating in a child’s day to day routine. More, offer supportive approach, using involving tactics with indulgence when required need arose.
Here are some Kidsfreesouls tips to help be Hands-on-Parenting
1. Be a friend and keep the faith
2. Monitor their activities. Guide when necessary
3. Monitor their Television / Internet viewing and offer your choice
4. Provide assistance for learning but refrain from doing their homework
5. Never say, 'My child is over-burdened' - Instead, set time schedules. Most of the time, it happens, your unorganized time schedule clashes with the child's routine.
6. Know their friends and show interest.
7. Learn to Say 'No' - the biggest mistake parent every makes is not saying 'No' - Explain why you say 'No' and be firm.
8. Encourage and inspire
9. Discipline with tact Parents and Teachers influence children. They are the ones who create Genius in a child. So, go ahead - enjoy influencing and try Hands-on-parenting - The power is within 'YOU"
- ilaxi patel
Newspaper for Kids
Author of Guardian of Angels: A Practical guide to Joyful Parenting